Porscha is Further Away.... Cynthia is back!

It is much easier to handle, but I will never get completely comfortable with my children being away from home. Cynthia is back from 5 months in Graz, Austria and completing her last semester of high school. Next year, she wants to go to the local community college and start working on her basic studies. After two years there, she plans to go on to an accredited four year college. She is not sure which direction she wants to follow yet, so I have no large objections to community college. Besides, she is very young and I am not in a hurry for her to leave home. Porscha is in the deep southern part of Texas climbing for a month. The inherent dangers of climbing and being in such a remote area scare me. She is taking some time off college to become a resident of Colorado and save thousands of dollars on her education. She, also, isn't sure when she wants to end up career-wise and is busy exploring the non-traditional modes of life available. As long as she is safe (and can pay for her own lifestyle)... I say, "Enjoy and get it out of your system." She may find something she really enjoys and can be passionate about for life. If her journey brings her back close to me I would love it, but I don't think it will happen.
Mothers/parents dedicate their lives to their children and build all they are around them. It is an utter, even though expected, shock to the psyche when they head out on their own and move far away. Sometimes I feel lost and deserted, crushed and fearful. She is torn from my arms and given to the world. The pain can seem unbearable and never-ending. My thoughts and prayers are for the health, safety and happiness of both my children. To muster the dignity and selflessness to step out of their way and bless them as they go, I must pull back and find meaning where it hasn't been before. That they are adventurous and brave enough to follow their dreams I am thankful and proud to have had a part in developing those strong characteristics, but a huge part of me just wants to pull them back to me, hold on tight and keep them to myself.