How to Succeed

The location: Dexter High School - Center for the Performing Arts
The Performers: Dexter High School Drama
The Time: February 21, 22, 23 & 25
It was a wonderful, touching last high school performance for Cynthia E.C. Doucette and the rest of her senior class. They tapped, jumped, spun, yelled and sung. And, they received a standing ovation.

Along with the students and the wonderful Mr. and Mrs. Wilcox, many parents help make the show a success. It has been a pleasure to help the kids with the show and I will miss it. This year and last I was asked to do a lobby display. It's challenging and enjoyable. It would have been even more enjoyable if I had been asked with more notice. The idea this year: Use one of the students to pose as the author for the book "How to Succeed in Business Without even Trying" and have a book signing. To the left is a promotional photo of Cynthia as "Penelope Perkington".

Porscha is Down

The good news = Cynthia is much better and back at her normal activities.
The bad news = Porscha is camping just north of the Mexican/US border, without insurance and quite ill.
Solution = She used some of her meager savings and took a hotel room and visited the doctor.
It turns out she has bronchitis and it is a good thing that she went to the hospital. Without insurance she had to put down a $150.00 deposit. Fortunately, she is on antibiotics and should be up and "at-um" in a few days. Of course, this means she has much less money and will not be able to take as much leisure time as she thought. (I think.)

Cynthia is Down

She came home from drama practice Monday evening and went right to bed with a headache. The next morning she was too ill and too tired to go to school. Apparently, she had been up vomiting and suffering with diarhea all night. It continued through Tuesday and she missed school, again, today. Two English muffins and cherry 7-Up makes up her complete consumption for the last two days.

Can You Find Tom?

A Practical Coffee Table

The Rest of the Bedroom Set (in the Livingroom)

A Refreshing Change

Next week, 14 February 06, will be our 21st anniversary and we are celebrating with new furniture. Our bedroom set is a complete change. Smooth cherry with a black leather padded headboard on the bed and padded set on the bench while the the dresser and night stand are topped with black granite. The night stand works as a side table in the livingroom and the bench fits nicely behind on of the loveseats. The final addition is a black satin finished coffee table with practical drawers (for the remotes, newspaper and whatever projects we are currently working on. We love how it looks and are proud to invite friends over for dinner or drinks.

New Spaces

It may sound as though I lay around lethargic, in a stooper and sometimes it feels like it, but it is not the case. It seems a bit sad but I had to transform Porscha's bedroom into something that wasn't a constant reminder of her absence. These photos are of the small studio I made from her old bedroom. It has most of my weaving, knitting, spinning and reading about fiber arts necessities in it. Also, there is a lovely little couch to relax on. This couch is Porscha's new bed, so that there is always room for her and she feels welcome. - Yes, it this is still your home, Porscha!, and we have room for overnight guests.

An Intrusion

Waking up extremely late, reading for a while and turning over, I pull the layers of soft cotton and down about me and fall back asleep. If I am depressed it isn't like my depressions of the past... or it is an addition to the familiar state. My passion for textiles has returned and I am happy to sort and clean through the 20 years of sludge we have collected, but I cannot seem to find myself. Boxes are unpacked and their contents recycled and donated. Amongst the dust are threads of my past life, a child's crayon drawing, Girl Scout badges, random photos of family outings. What to do with these small tokens? To throw them out is as unthinkable as would be tossing away Porscha's and Cynthia's childhoods. The precious clutter is gathered into plastic containers and set aside. My past is found but the present and future are still unclear.
Germs of work ideas abound and materials have been ordered so that they can become real but I just can't get into the mechanics.
It’s three o'clock and Cynthia returns home. Good... This something I can do by rout. Homework? Practice. Dinner. "Yes, I can help with the play, with prom, give you a ride." but I know it is only a short time you will need me and I, already, feel the crushing emptiness your departure will leave. Already, I feel an intrusion into your world when I stop by the theatre to help out, when I knock on your door in the morning, when I laugh with you and your "sleep-over" friend. This is a shadow of the intrusive pain I feel when I talk to your sister and feel the distance between us. She is there I am nowhere. You are going there, I am going nowhere. Prayers for direction fall small and few from my lips as the belief they will be answered is packed in a small plastic box in the back of my closet.

Porscha is Further Away.... Cynthia is back!

It is much easier to handle, but I will never get completely comfortable with my children being away from home. Cynthia is back from 5 months in Graz, Austria and completing her last semester of high school. Next year, she wants to go to the local community college and start working on her basic studies. After two years there, she plans to go on to an accredited four year college. She is not sure which direction she wants to follow yet, so I have no large objections to community college. Besides, she is very young and I am not in a hurry for her to leave home. Porscha is in the deep southern part of Texas climbing for a month. The inherent dangers of climbing and being in such a remote area scare me. She is taking some time off college to become a resident of Colorado and save thousands of dollars on her education. She, also, isn't sure when she wants to end up career-wise and is busy exploring the non-traditional modes of life available. As long as she is safe (and can pay for her own lifestyle)... I say, "Enjoy and get it out of your system." She may find something she really enjoys and can be passionate about for life. If her journey brings her back close to me I would love it, but I don't think it will happen.
Mothers/parents dedicate their lives to their children and build all they are around them. It is an utter, even though expected, shock to the psyche when they head out on their own and move far away. Sometimes I feel lost and deserted, crushed and fearful. She is torn from my arms and given to the world. The pain can seem unbearable and never-ending. My thoughts and prayers are for the health, safety and happiness of both my children. To muster the dignity and selflessness to step out of their way and bless them as they go, I must pull back and find meaning where it hasn't been before. That they are adventurous and brave enough to follow their dreams I am thankful and proud to have had a part in developing those strong characteristics, but a huge part of me just wants to pull them back to me, hold on tight and keep them to myself.